Bleeding on Facebook

This graphic was in my Facebook stream this morning. There were lots of amens and cyber high fives but I couldn’t bring myself to join in.

On the surface it rings true.

But I know there’s more to the sometimes uncomfortable and unsettling disclosure of one’s personal business on social media networks.

I’ve read plenty of Facebook statuses that make me shake my head and leave me asking why. What’s particularly grievous is when leaders bleed all over Facebook. I’ve asked myself many times, isn’t there someone offline they can talk to about that? It’s painful to watch and if you’re not in close relationship with that person, you’re left to pray and/or reach out and hope they won’t lash out at you for trying to help. This isn’t uncommon and you have to be Holy Spirit led in such cases.

Pastor Deanna wrote a post recently and shared a few stats of those who hold pastoral office. One in particular said that 70 percent of pastors don’t have a close friend. That stat stopped me cold. Could this be why so many of us, pastors and lay members alike air our issues on Facebook? We don’t have close friends and our social media networks are the one place we can vent?

A very new and very real issue facing social media users is depression. According to recent news articles, people who are already experiencing feelings of isolation can have those feeling exasperated in an online community. We tend to post only the good things in our statuses and it can make others feel like their lives are crap which tends to deepen the depression. Experts recommend logging off. They say unplug from the grid…take a social media hiatus.

It dawned on me that many of us lack intimate relationships; intimacy being defined as a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. We have loose connections at church, at work, and even online but intimate relationships are either too few, not well-maintained or non-existent.

Intimate relationships take time to build and we all seem to be a pretty busy lot and we’re left feeling empty. My guess is that is why some of us are bleeding on Facebook. We are social creatures (some more than others) and need intimacy with at least one other person. Then there’s the place in our heart that only God can fill and no relationship or possession can ever fill that space.

How many times do you check your Facebook page in a day? How about Twitter? What if no one responds to your witty post or clever tweet? How does this make you feel? If you unplugged from social media what would you do? How would you spend your time? Who would you spend that time with? Social media is supposed to connect us and enhance relationships. But I think it’s done more to expose our lack of intimate relationships and show us how lonely some of us really are. Honestly, we don’t even believe the lie we tell ourselves that “we don’t need nobody.” The truth is we do…and the posts on Facebook prove it.

A short prayer

Lord Jesus I pray for those who are only loosely connected to people and groups and feel a void in their lives. They know You, love You but lack an intimate connection with another human being. I pray for leaders who lead in isolation; who lack a true friend in whom they can be themselves. I pray for husbands and wives who rush through their days and fail to connect with each other. Between the kids and the bills Lord, they’ve neglected one another and feel alone even when they’re together. I pray for single parents, single brothers and sisters who are looking for companionship; someone to share their lives with so they don’t have to go it alone. Lord help us to trust again. Help us to love again. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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