There’s a huge difference between me now and me even a year ago.
A transformation has occurred by practicing this one thing..renewing my mind.
The battle for the mind
Paul said we could win the battle against conforming to this world if we would allow our minds to be renewed. Letting this mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus certainly requires renewal. Even if you grew up in church, you probably grew up with what I like to call “throwed-off” thinking. Throwed-off thinking is thinking that keeps one in an impoverished mindset or embraces lies because the truth is so different and so scary it’s easier and more comforting to keep living the lie. Thinking that can’t be traced back to scripture but rather beliefs your parents had or what someone taught you in school. Maybe this throwed-off thinking was reinforced by certain experiences. Whatever the situation, throwed-off thinking had to be dealt with.
I had a whole lot of throwed-off thinking to confront. I thought God was just waiting for me to slip up so He could say, “Aha, I knew you were worthless!” I thought God was distant and aloof towards me and ready to send me to hell at the drop of a hat. I had never felt secure in His love. Sure, I sang the song, Safe In His Arms but I didn’t know what that was. They were just words. I thought at best I was tolerated by God and my husband and that I couldn’t actually be loveable or desired. Completely contrary to Christian teachings on the love of God but it’s what I had come to believe. Really throwed-off right? You’d be surprised how this type of thinking manifests. Or maybe you do know. If you’re real astute, you can probably guess where this line of thinking stems from. That’s another book/blog altogether.
I had throwed-off thinking about money that’s deep-rooted in generations of poverty and mismanagement of funds. I thought in no way did God want a blood-bought believer to be wealthy and that there was something noble about being poor and struggling. That line of thinking took a long time to unravel.
So me and my throwed-off thinking would approach God in prayer on many occasions and it was hard to focus because my mind always ran a thousand miles a minute. I was always prepping for the next move, planning the next great takeover, or how to get out of some situation. I cried my heart out a lot in prayer. Eventually, I sensed God’s comfort and I was assured that it would be okay. He didn’t lie.
I never practiced meditation because for a lot of Christians this evokes great paranoia and it did for me too. This practice was the opening up to something evil and we should avoid because we are to shun the very appearance of evil. Never mind David practiced meditation and so did Issac. David was faithful to meditate on the Word of God which gives us a clue as to how we should practice meditation. The passage on Issac says he simply went out in the evening to meditate. I love this.
I needed to learn how to meditate. I needed to learn how to slow my brain down. I needed to be transformed in His presence. I needed to release throwed-off thinking. I needed to learn how to just be in His presence. I needed to rehearse His word, rehearse what He said in silence and agree mind, body and spirit with His declarations. If I was going to do what He said, be who He said, have what He said or in other words, live from my core—my thinking would have to change. Throwed-off thinking was keeping me back and coming into His presence in silence, meditating on His word changed me. It transformed me. It healed me. It slowed my brain down (thank you Jesus)! Amazing things happen when you stop rehearsing lies and embrace God’s truth.
Where power lies
The bible teaches that the power of life and death are in the tongue. Your words have power; that’s why it’s so important to guard them! It’s also important to speak out and declare what you hear in prayer and is reinforced in your time of meditation or time of just being.
There was a period where I had to practice shutting up. I talked too much and Holy Spirit told me to button it! It was a hard lesson to learn. I was speaking defeat and damnation to my own situation. So for a long time I was under order to keep quiet. I’m glad I had this experience because now I know when to shut up. I know that my words have power and shape and create whatever I speak. I refuse to give fear and doubt a voice. I just won’t. Because none of those things exist at the core of who I am.
This has been a decade-long process–at least–and am happy to say that I’m living from my core.
There are still some things that require prayer and demand that I slip into His presence in silence. I suspect that will be so until my final day.
As for throwed-off thinking, that’s in my past – core living is my now and prayer, meditation and declaration help me live from this place of peace and power.